The following is a transcription of the video above. Please excuse any typos.

Kanye West once said If you’re a Kanye West fan…you’re actually a fan of yourself….I’m just the espresso.

Anybody else feel overwhelmed lately?

Like you should really do something about everything but anything you do ultimately means nothing.

Hey, me too.

This might help.

Do something small for yourself — sit in your corner of the sandbox and make a stupid little castle — but like really give yourself to it — fold the laundry, clear off your desktop, floss, whatever — it doesn’t have to…


The following is a transcription of the video above, please excuse any typos.

The comedian Steven Wright perfectly articulated our primary human evolutionary advantage when he said “Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.”

I get it, cardio sucks but you my friend do not suck

Despite whatever you may tell yourself in the first few labored steps of your workout — you’re doing great.

The human form is a terrible design for many things, our soft, squishy, inflexible, bodies tragically fail us before our minds or our will.

But there is one thing that we…


The following is a transcription of the video above, please excuse any typos:

It would appear that in America there are many industries that are lucky that their consumers are so lazy.

However, as Anthony Bourdain once said, “Luck is not a business model”

We’ve all got that friend or coworker who pipes in a familiar, yet grading trope, whenever you order a salad at a restaurant, “you know, you can make that at home for a fraction of the cost.”

Yes. Chuck, I understand that vertically integrating the supply chain amortizes the cost of goods at scale.


The following is a transcript of the video above — please excuse any typos.

One of my greatest personality flaws is that I’m one of those horrible people who works out every day on vacation — every day in general really, but more specifically on days when my wife and friends really would prefer that I didn’t.

I’m also a jiu jitsu competitor which means my ideal road workout involves dropping into a local jiu jitsu academy and paying strangers to fight me.

I’ve trained in NY, LA, Rio and a ton of places in between — sometimes it’s…


The following is a transcript of the video above — please excuse any typos.

The day I found out that Avicii died I was walking off of Ipanema beach in Rio de Janeiro Brazil. It was the first of an 8-day Jiu jitsu training camp — and after 14 hours of travel, we promptly ran face first into Cai-pi-rin-has and sunburns before our first sparing session that night — my teammate looked at his phone to order us an Uber and said -

“Well I guess we’ll never forget where we where the day we found out that Avicii…


The thing about wrestling an alligator that it is relatively simple — not easy — simple.

Alligators are uncomplicated, you don’t ever wonder where you stand with an alligator — they have persisted through millions of years of evolution because they are beautifully-efficient killing machines.

As black belts in alligator wrestling, the Seminole people mastered the fine art of subduing these 500lb lizards in the swamps of south Florida — first for food, then later for sport and show when they were propped up as roadside attractions, routinely risking their lives to entertain white people.

The thing about arguing…


We have been raised to fear a blank page — understanding that it is our primary purpose to replace its gaping whiteness with information, content, words. We are contractors, the page is a vacant lot, our words are the materials we use to construct meaning.

If we cannot, we are boring, uncreative, we are blocked. So we are driven by the urge to type, and spew and fill the page — margin to margin — with anything but space.

It makes the act of starting to write anything a herculean feat of overcoming inertia and mediocrity which, left unchecked…


The following is a transcript from a video I recorded about waiting on celebrities, systemic racism and the service industry.

It’s the late 00’s and I’m working an unreasonably busy summer weekday lunch rush on the patio at a very trendy Sunset Strip Chinese restaurant. I won’t drop any names, but let’s just say it’s the kind of place you can really imagine Lisa Rinna throwing a glass of wine on someone in.

Out of the corner of my eye I see the hostess has just double sat me by dropping a one-top at the very edge of my…


The following is a transcript of a video I recorded about Johnny Cash, My grandmother and COVID-19.

Some unexpected things Johnny Cash and I have in common.

We’re both ordained ministers

We are both former residence of both Ojai California, and Nashville TN

AND

Both of our parents were at one time residence The Natural State — Arkansas.

We both survived pretty wild life-changing attacks by flightless birds.

John was going through a rough patch at the beginning of the 80’s in the middle of a bitter cold Tennessee winter. He was walking the grounds of his estate when…


In the middle of a sweltering Bay Area heatwave, in the middle of some of the worst wildfires on record, in the middle of a global pandemic, my wife and I have decided to brave the elements with our six-month old son for a rare (for us) socially distanced backyard gathering in San Francisco.

Our son was born the week before COVID lockdowns, and as a result he’s only had a handful of car rides, most of which were to the doctor’s office two miles from our house — there’s really nowhere else for us to go. …

Blake Kasemeier

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